Disillusionment

There are people from whom I expect some level of deception - politicians, sales people, PR people. When I listen to people in those positions, I do so with a grain of salt. In some cases, with a truckload. When I hear deception on their tongues, I am neither hurt nor surprised.

But recently I've discovered that even people I thought were trustworthy are actually just as deceptive, and maybe even more so. I've always thought of the leaders of the online community as somehow above the spin common to those who are paid to produce a public opinion. I was wrong. And strangely, I am both hurt and surprised.

Somewhere the championing of the truth turned into the championing of a cause. The importance of transparency became just another tool in the spin kit, a way to discredit, instead of revealing. Telling a good story became more important than finding the facts. The important feeling of being in the center of attention became more seductive than the message itself.

What stings most of all is that the cause is one that I hold incredibly dear. We stand on the verge of losing something that I love, and I am mourning. When I hear the slick propaganda I feel sickened, as if what is precious to me is being pissed on, by the very people I trusted to protect it. Even if we win this one, it will be a bitter tasting win, rank with the smell of lies and character defamation, a wound in our greater community that will take a long time to heal, if ever.

I'm disillusioned. I sit by the sidelines and watch both the truth and the public being manipulated. I can't speak out, or dare challenge the misinformation. If I publish a critique on a "friendly" forum, any deviation from the narrative being created by people I once admired will be ruthlessly attacked by those that follow them. If I publish a critique in any of the alternative venues available to me I will be further damaging both the cause and my friendships. I'm left with my private blog, with it's reassuring readership of three. No keywords that google could pick up. Everything vague.

So, lesson learned. Even the leaders of the online community are politicians, PR people, sales people. Nothing better. Nothing nobler. What a shame.